Your need to be “prepared,” maybe fear in disguise

I had a call with a client about her anxieties about her upcoming horse show, she told me she, “just wants to be prepared for anything/everything. I love feeling prepared and this time I really don’t.”

With horses in several different divisions in the jumpers, my client isn’t new to the show ring. In fact, her lively-hood aka business relies on her being in the show ring. So, maybe she even feels the extra pressure to perform that many of us non-professionals feel and think professionals don’t feel.

Nope. We all share it. We all want to be prepared at all times. But, I asked… “is that really necessary? How prepared for prepared can you get, before you feel prepared?”

That was definitely a tongue twister and a brain twister, all in one.

I saw her potential. In fact, I actually freakin’ admire her as a rider. She’s off the charts epic. But, why could I see her potential when she felt “unprepared”, and she couldn’t? How could she NOT see all her capabilities, that I saw?

“Preparedness” serves many purposes. But, sometimes, it gets in the way of your progress, of your ability to perform because you use it to judge your value and your abilities against expectations that don’t elevate you. So, “prepared” because synonymous with fear. It becomes code word to hide our “insecurities and fears.”

Hiding your insecurities and fears isn’t really hiding anything at all, instead it just amplifies them. Because we then have to put a lot of thought and effort into “hiding” them from ourselves and others. I am really… couldn’t and wouldn’t’ you want to use that energy for something else more constructive?

The moment you see your fears from “feeling not prepared,” is the moment you become “prepared”, and the gears start working again.

I’ve come to realize, with years of doing this and my own healing, that where you tend to focus you activate more energy. So, I’d rather focus on being seen for in the experience I am having, whether I am scared or not, because that is the fastest way to tapping into my potential. It’s about being prepared but it’s also not about whether I feel prepared or not. Because, honestly… that is a rabbit hole that does not need to unpacked (is that how the saying goes?!).

The question I’m asking- and I invite you to ask yourself- is “can I show my true unguarded self in the face of fear, feeling unprepared, and in my honest vulnerable desire to do well?”

PS: PS. I am launching a group! Waitlist is closing end of this week! drpernillanathan.com. Or Follow my IG account @drpernillanathan