The fail proof mantra: Neutral Thoughts. Why hasn’t anyone told you about this before?!

I am incredibly passionate about serving and giving access to content that UPLEVELS. This is something I am passionate about and I realize not everyone has the tools, time, or know how to get this information. You all have busy lives. But, you also have dreams. And if I can fuel your dreams into fruition… that is my GREATEST joy. Because if you UPLEVEL and achieve your dreams it honestly inspires me too.

You don’t have to be an equestrian by the way to have this work for you! Hang tight, stick with the story, because this applies to all athletes or anyone trying to overcome anxiety.

Let me tell you that all my client’s inspire me. They inspire me to also chase my dreams. Yes, I help them chase theirs, but they always seem to take it to the next level, and that fires me up too. I don’t want to be that healer that doesn’t follow what they preach. I want to live it. Be it. Feel it. And share it with you too! Because it is stories that inspire us.

Like this story. One of my clients a few years ago told me she wanted a 2nd horse. With her current income and life situation, she kept telling me, “There is no way.” I told her, “You don’t know that. Tomorrow you could receive a significant bonus or job offer, or even an offer for a horse.” We left it at that. I didn’t hear from her for a moment. Until she called and told me she up and manifested her dream horse! The circumstances all aligned, it’s what the Hallmark channel is made of stories like these: A complete tearjerker.

Every client I work with inspires me, keeping me true to what I believe in and share. Because there are moments where I too become what I call, “human,” and second guess myself, falling into the trap of short-circuiting my dreams with negative thoughts. I remind myself all the time of her story whenever I get stuck in my rut of believing that something I want is too “far out there.” And right now, I am in the middle of a dream coming true (still top secret)… but will share soon. Am just so focused on keeping my energy high and elevated. Yes, it is horse related.

When I work as a consultant/coach I access that elevated side of me that operates at a higher frequency of beliefs and behaviors. And so when, I am navigating my personal life I have to continuously remind myself to access that other part of me that I give to my clients. Using tools like the one I am about to share with you: The Power of Neutrality.

I am incredibly passionate about all things that are related to high performance techniques that serve to elevate ourselves into expanding past, what we believe we are capable of. And that means I devour information related to neuroscience, heart science, body/soul science, quantum physics, epigenesis and nontraditional healing modalities into my work. Which I would love to share with y’all.

So, I am creating IG LIVES on Wednesday nights at 8PM PST. Yes, I will record and repost so you can watch at your leisure. But, if you join me I can answer questions directly. And you get access to me for FREE as well as any guests that join.

1/26/2022, was my inaugural debut. And here is what I talked about.

“It’s week 2 of Thermal, the Desert international horse show. If you don’t know what it is, it is located in Palm Desert, CA. I absolutely love this show, it’s one of my favorites all time. I wanted to come on and share with those who are showing ways to manage their anxiety. So tonight, we are going to start of with the BIGGEST mistake I hear from so many of you.

I love you, but we have got to change this.”

Positive thinking. Pop culture has taken a great idea, but inadvertently not helped you understand how to use it effectively. Even touting that positive thoughts are the panacea to negative ones. Sure. In so many ways, but there is more to it than that.

That would be like telling me that having your trainer ride your horse the day before you do, is going to fix all the problems you and your horse have. We know that’s not true. Pro rides are HIGHLY effective, but just because your horse is getting pro rides, doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in the work and lesson to enhance your skills.

Positive thinking is powerful, don’t get me wrong, but you have to also understand several things to utilize it properly. And, just like with riding we have to start with ground work before jumping in.

DO THIS FIRST!

First. This is what you need to do.

Answer these questions:

What negative thoughts are you having?

When are they happening?

How do they serve you?

Why do you think your brain has these thoughts?

There are so many flavors to thoughts and purpose. Most of us misattribute them, because we misunderstand what is occurring in your mind, body, and soul. I personally believe that you don’t have to fully understand the negative thoughts, as much as you need to understand that you can change them with dedication and discipline.

When I work with clients, I listen for the patterns. Because every single person I work with, has their very own signature thought that fits into a theme. And when you understand the signature you enhance your understanding the ground work that needs to be done.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?

You take time to increase your level of awareness by taking a bird’s eye view of your life and how you operate. Just literally start paying attention to yourself! Be curious!

That will give you a great start to the next part of this.

NOW FIX THIS!

The 2nd mistake is placing responsibility on your thoughts to fix all your concerns. Positive thinking won’t take away your issues. It’s not like you a positive thought process for 10 minutes and all is glorious.. And you’re riding better than ever.

Imagine your thoughts to be on a spectrum (SEE DIAGRAM ABOVE): One end is “negative” the other end is “positive.” You can’t move from one end of the spectrum to the other end effortlessly, just because you desire that or try it once. But there is something you can do that is easier.

When a particular style or flavor of thought has been activated in you habitually, your brain has developed a physical brain pathway that needs time to be re-written. Your brain chemistry needs to adjust to the new pattern of thinking that creates unrecognized new tincture of chemicals running through your body. The moment you introduce a new habit of thinking, your brain must work harder to recognize that new pattern of behavior.

We love our habits. Our brain does too.

And so, when this new thought comes, your brain is going to fight to go back to its old pattern of thinking. Even if that thinking style didn’t “serve” you or your purpose. It’s not trying to be difficult, but it’s going through a withdrawal of not experiencing the old chemistry, which is comfortable and known.

In different words, if you love to live on the couch, the day you decide to start working out. Your brain is going to flood you with excuses to stay on the couch, because that’s where it loves to be. And even though we know working out is good for you, your brain prefers to lean into habits too. It likes to stay comfortable. Because it doesn’t have to work to create a new way of thinking… all things related to working out. Does that make sense?

But, the same is in the reverse. If you work out all the time, sitting on the couch is going to be tough for you to do. Your brain is used to the habit of working out, so the moment you tell it “No,” we are going to hang out on this couch now for days, it’s going to struggle.

WHAT DO WE DO?

When you’re trying to change horse show anxiety, you must start at home first. Make the changes in an environment where you feel comfortable. Never wait to go to the show to make the changes. It’s like we never ride in a new pair of boots at the show. You break them in at home first. Always. Or, you’ll have blisters. Same idea with your thinking.

Then when you go to a new place, new environment, a show you have an established habit. This supports you in being able to navigate other important needs, like memorizing your course, instead of being overly consumed by your anxiety. Anxiety changes your biological make up and consequently your performance and abilities. This isn’t a personality thing. Your horse show anxiety is a biological concern that can be remediated.

SO YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BE POSITIVE?

Let’s go back to that continuum I told you about. Imagine one side “negative thoughts,” the middle is “neutral,” and the other end is “positive thoughts.” SEE DIAGRAM BELOW.

Negative and positive are polar opposite of each other. Like sunrise/sunset. And in the middle is the “neutral” zone. Remember how I said it’s hard to go from negative to positive, from one end of the spectrum to the next? But it is easier to go from negative to neutral to then positive and back again. In the diagram, you have a visual of what I am about to explain in the next point.

Pop culture always touts, “Be positive.” There is nothing wrong with being positive, but there is a ton of perceived expectation/judgement. What does that even mean for you or in the world that you live in? What does that even look like? How do you know, you’re being positive? Does it mean smile? Does it mean be happy and funny? Does it mean have a lot of fancy things? Too many expectations and questions right there.

WHAT IS A NEUTRAL THOUGHT?

A neutral thought is it’s just boring. And perfectly so. There is not reverberation of any expectation. It just is. Like, the jump is painted blue and white. The standards are white. The trees are green. My horse is Chesnutt. The sky is blue. You don’t feel any emotion with it. It just is.

Being simple with your thoughts is key when trying to be neutral. Simple is incredibly powerful. When you feel nervous (sweaty palms, racing thoughts, maybe you even start making poor decisions, you can’t follow directions, your breathing has become shallow), all you have to do is:

• Look around you and name objects.
• There is a tree. There is a Chesnutt horse. There is a blue jump. There is a standard. There is a cross rail. There is a rock.
• Or name colors around you
• Or count objects

It doesn’t matter which of these examples you chose to do. As long as you stick with it. It sounds incredibly simple and it is. But t when you are activated into your anxiety, it will take effort.

Neutral thinking is powerful because when you are in it, you slow down the stress hormone from dropping into your body. Which affords you greater opportunities to be open to any situation. You will be able to adjust to ride a long or short distance, or a buck, etc., because you’re open to receive whatever it is bad or good that happens. Which then engages that part of your brain that is integral to performance: intuition.

With positive thinking, if something goes unexpectedly wrong, you then are thrown off your mindset strategy. In neutrality, your behavior/performance is not run by your thought. It’s run by your intuitive muscle memory/skill.

Caveat. Neutral thinking doesn’t ensure you a win. But, it sure does ensure that you not allow your anxiety to steam roll you!

Try it. Let me know what you think. Need tweaks. Tweak it. It’s all about having fun and learning more about yourself.