Hard doesn’t mean it’s impossible: 5 ways to overcome hard things in your life
Hard doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It is achievable. Sometimes, hard esconds all possibility. It’s really a ruse, like hide n seek: finding opportunity in the hard.
Hard means something different to each of us. What is my hard, is not yours. I used to think, I could control hard. That I would definitely not follow certain paths, because that was known to have that kind of hard. Yet, I took other paths… paths I never imagined I would and inadvertently agreed to dance with specific hards, surprising myself and sometimes even disappointing myself.
You do choose your hards to an extent. The choice may not be directly linked, but it a butterfly effect. This idea that small “events” have impact because the sum of their parts overtime, eventually leads to this big event.
Also, the Universe chooses your hards. Without your consent. Sometimes, you are in agreement with that hard, because you know you need to pass that hard, as if it is a test to elevate. And other times, you are oblivious to it, until it sucker punches you… and you are left no choice.
1. MAYBE HARD NEEDS A NEW DEFINITION
Like Alex Hormozi says, “Life is hard. Believing it should be easy makes it harder.”
I can find quotes like this over in the millions all over the internet. I, personally am not sure I agree. What if we changed our definition of hard?
I think hard, is an adjective to describe the dichotomies of life that enliven our senses, experiences, and memories. BECAUSE, EVEN WONDERFUL “POSITIVE” MOMENTS CAN BE HARD, TOO.
You technically could come up with your own definition. Which is quite powerful. Think about it for a moment. You can define hard. That is a gift. That is a gift you can either receive or ignore. If you receive this gift, than you determine the course of hard.
2. AN INITIATION TO LIFE
Let’s not be trite, but mindset is everything.
Over the years, I’ve come to see hard as being more like an initiation process.
It’s a triaging of who is ready to be ready to receive the gifts that come from overcoming that hard and those that are not. There is no judgement. It’s simply an initiation process. Either you are ready this time, or your not.
And with each hard, there is a lesson. Some lessons more convoluted than others. Some lessons take longer to learn. But, regardless a lesson that leads to acquiring a skill or set of skills.
And so, when you receive the gifts from accomplishing that hard… the level of appreciation for those gifts is significantly higher, because their worth represents the energy and strength you placed into yourself to overcome that hard.
3. DON’T JUST TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT YOUR HARD
“If you want to make the wrong decsion, ask everyone.” Naval Ravikant
I used to tell certain family members and friends all my hards. I needed a place to “vent.” They loved it. I loved it. There was always this “RUSH.” Eventually, I understood what I was doing. Reinforcing my addiction to the hard.
So I stopped, gossiping about the hard. Unfortunately, not everyone agreed with my decision. I have been told, “I am on a happy pill” or that “I’m no longer relatable” or that I’ve made people uncomfortable, because “they don’t feel like I am opening up.”
But, I am grateful, because when I cut that out, I started nurturing friendships with amazing perspectives. The quality of support shifted to empowering, loving, and discussing the search for the silver lining.
That’s who you want to talk to.
4. SPEND YOUR MONEY ON OVERCOMING YOUR HARD
Life is about learning. You can definitely learn for free. YouTube is filled with free content.
But, there is an exchange of energy that occurs when you pay for something. That investment represents your value; your perceived value of yourself. In plain English, “How much do you think you are worth?”
The quality of FREE content, is NOT the same as the quality of paid content. It just isn’t. And if it is… it is a reflection of where a person is in their value of self.
I myself have dropped a ton of cash on coaches. I have done therapy too. In fact over the years, I’ve had 3 therapist, 1 couple’s therapist. I’ve had 2 business coaches (still am working with 1 of my coaches currently in a group setting). I’ve had multiple horse trainers to help me excel in the sport. I’ve worked with a health expert, I’ve taken my 200 hour yoga teacher in training, I work with non-traditional healers (in fact just worked with one last week), and not to mention the countless teachers that taught me all the way to obtaining my doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology.
My point is: Invest in yourself. Not having enough money, is an excuse. It’s not a reason.
The Case Study: SHE IS YOU AND ME
I had a current client refer another entrepreneur who wants to uplevel her business. I helped build this current client’s business to what it is today, by elevating her mindset and helping to see her dreams were hers for the taking. This friend of hers… has been watching my client grow her business from the sidelines, witnessing all of this abundance. And so she asked, for my number. I emailed her and gave her my quote.
The friend told my client, that she financially can’t swing working with me.
It’s not that she can’t.
It’s that she isn’t ready yet. She will be but, the timing is just not there right now. And that’s ok.
I’ve been there too. It took me 2 years before I finally signed up for my current business coach’s course. 2 years!! I wasn’t ready. And I said the exact same thing, “It was too expensive. I didn’t have the money.” I had the money y’all. I had the money. I was just scared to face my hard.
5. OVERCOMING OUR HARD IS ACTUALLY HARD, BUT NOT FOR THE REASONS YOU THINK
Going from 1 way of living your life to another, isn’t easy.
Let me explain with money.
Going from making $0 to making $80 isn’t all that hard. It’s pretty easy.
However, going from making $1000/month to making $50000/month is harder to do. Every shift requires a new level of thinking and being. Who you were when you made $1000/month can’t be the very person that makes $50000/month. The mindset is different.
When I first started my business, I was worried about imposter syndrome. At 5 figures, I got over it. To get to 6 figures, I had to rethink how to uplevel through media and minimize my client face to face hours. My mindset is different. The way I think about money, how I work with it, how I receive it.. Is all different than when I first started my business.
Every stage, every uplevel required me to think differently and do things differently. Like, Joe Dispenza says, “If you want a new outcome, you have to break the habit of being yourself.”
Amen.
In Summary: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE A HARD LIFE
Hard isn’t what you should fear. It’s expecting hard that you should be afraid of: your mindset about it. The reality is.. Hard never goes away. Without hard, we don’t know what is easy. But, because hard moments have a higher charge to them, people get sucked into the hard and add fuel to the fire, ignoring the easy, beautiful, and effortless moments.
Think about all the times you’ve overcome something that was a challenge in your life, a difficult moment. List 10 of them. Now, hard things don’t seem so overpowering. It’s just that small shift in mindset… that’s all it takes. A small shift.
And if you want my secret sauce Buttercup to overcoming hard. Watch a story of someone who has had it harder. Not to compare. No. But, to find your fire from their inspirational story.
